Hollywood has done an excellent job of glamorising The Golden Years. Grandparents are often portrayed living in rambling homes with a seemingly limitless supply of money. The reality is, however, that much of the ageing population worldwide is heading into retirement without nearly enough funds. The lack of funds is exacerbated by the fact that people are living longer; and life expectancy is creeping up by one to two years per decade.

This presents huge challenges for families in the process of raising children. They are often referred to as the 'sandwich generation'; faced with the high costs of education on one hand and supporting their parents on the other.

Healthcare alone is estimated to cost a retired person R700 000 for the 25 to 30 years in retirement.

So, how can you protect yourself from being put under enormous financial pressure if your parents are headed towards retirement? The short answer is that this subject has to be opened up for discussion, well before retirement. The problem is that the subject of our parent’s money is often off limits. Many times we only become aware of their financial situation when they die or when we receive a call for help.

The tendency to tip toe around our parent’s personal finances can cause major problems. Firstly, it is impossible to carry out their wishes when we have no idea about what they want, where they keep key documents and what their assets and liabilities are. What if they become ill or incapacitated and we become responsible for their medical care and financial decisions? These are emotional issues, but they have to be addressed.

Tact is the key factor when broaching the subject for the first time. You don’t start off the conversation by saying, "So dad, let’s talk about my inheritance".

A good way to start is to bring up the subject of estate and retirement planning in the context of your own financial plan. Tell them that you have seen a financial adviser and you were alarmed at how much money one needs to retire. Tell them you are considering setting up a trust and/or drawing up a will for your kids, or give them copies of your vital documents for safekeeping.

Another good way to bring up the subject is to discuss what you would like them to do in the event of your early demise. Then ask your parents if they have the relevant documents in place to ensure their wishes be carried out in the event of their deaths.

The most important documents are their wills, trust documents, share certificates, loan accounts, bank accounts and living wills, statements of assets and liabilities, property deeds and insurance policies. A living will describes what, if any, life prolonging medical procedures should be used in the event of serious injury.

Ask your parents about getting help if they cannot do everything on their own. Are they willing to hand over chores like bill paying or house maintenance to anyone else? Ask them if they have any plans about moving into a retirement village, or if they intend staying in their own home.

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